Saturday, 14 July 2012

So, You Want To Be A Writer?

Just recently a friend of mine started writing. New to the life of a writer and completely oblivious to the 'symptoms' of becoming a writer, all week I've been recieving questions asking, 'Is this normal?'

So, I decided to blog about it, for you you beginners out there and for a giggle with those who understand.

And here's the list:

- Insomia:
You've spent the last six hours writing, your head is full of plotlines, characters and you're on a 'writing high'. Your eyes start to droope, the facial twitches set in, perhaps is time to go to bed?
You jump in, your electric blanket is on, you shut your eyes... And all you can think about is Conflict, Dialogue, what should I do next, Oh! that's a good idea.
You're up til 3am.
Which leads me to my next symtom...

- Caffine Addiction:
Not a big coffee drinker? Give it a few days and you'll soon be calling it your bestfriend. Coffee is 'Writer's fluid'. No coffee, no brain function.

- A Mild Case of Antisocial Personality Disorder:
Yep. You going to become an utter b*#&@.
Shoosh! I'm writing. I don't care about where the dog peed. Will you please leave me alone!
Sound familar?

- The Early Bird Gets The Worm...
Now, many writer's find that their muse is most active in the morning. What? Not a morning person? Well... you're about to join the early birds.

- I Hear Voices...
My characters are the kind that take shape in my mind. I can see them and I can hear them.
Yep, I sound like a crazy person. But guess what?

- A love for chocolate and Alcohol:
There's nothing like chocolate to ease the stink of that critique or rejection. And there's nothing like a glass of champagne or a JD to celebrate your first contract! So there you have it. Two more wonderful addictions that in excess, are bad for you.

- Paranoia
They're my friends, of course they are going to tell me this rubbish is amazing! Did it save? Did I send it properly? Why haven't they replied?
Consider yourself a cool cat? We shall see...

- Writer's Block
I know. You hate it already. You are on your first day off in two weeks, your computer is before you, you're ready to go... And it hits you. Yep, good old writer's block.

- Da Dum. Da dum. Da dum, da dum, da dum... (Yes, that was my attempt at the 'Jaws' theme)
You've submitted your first MS. You're happy, you're worried. They haven't emailed you it. It's been five minutes and they haven't emailed you  back yet. So you get onto facebook, twitter, you do a google search on the internet. What was that editor's name?
Yep, you've become not only a writer but a stalker. The editor is your celebrity and you're the paparazzi. You check you inbox 20 times every hour and you send yourself an email just to see if its broken. No not broken and still no email.
Sounds like a crazy person right? Nah, you're not cray cray. You're a writer. :)

- Crazy Hair:
Expect your hair to have a little more volume in it from now on. You'll be running you're fingers through it a little more than usual and it's going to take it's toll.

Well, there is my list. Yep, it sounds pretty awful. But think about it, all this for the abosolute joy of pointing to that good looking cover in Big W and being able to say, 'That's my book', 'I wrote that'. Sounds like a good deal to me. :)

Whitney :)


  1. LOL . So true. Love it! (and yes I have replaced my F5 - refresh key twice!)

    1. Hahaha. Half the keys on my board are a bit rough lol. Thanks for stopping but Jenn. Really happy you enjoyed it. :)

  2. Hahahaha and it only gets worse. Something to really look forward to Whitney!

  3. You nailed it love. We don't get any better with with each submission either. Well maybe just a little but not much. It's all worth it though. The life of a writer is pretty crazy but I wouldn't swap it for anything.

    1. To true. Glad you enjoyed it. I thought many would be able to relate :)

  4. I think that about covers it!

    Then all those people in Big W, K-Mart and Target take one look at your mad hair and blood shot eyes and mouth "yeah right." LOL.

    Good post Whitney.


    1. Hahaha, I think it should be protocol that all writer's get jackets and we form a secret club lol. Hehehe writing gangs...

  5. Great post babe.

    I can admit to experiencing all of those. My favourite - Paranoia. Me and Mr P get alone so well.

    Nicely put honey.

    1. Hahah that's why I have four usbs. :)

  6. All of the above, plus a few more you'll discover along the way. But would any of us change it? I doubt it, so we'll just learn to live with the joys of being writers, knowing there are others out there who understand.

    1. Exactly! Thanks for popping by Sue. Glad you enjoyed it.

  7. I'm going through this at the moment. The writing bit, not time yet to send it to anyone. I don't do coffee and I don't do alcohl, but the tea caddy is getting a workout and I think I am hooked on chewing gum. The cats are very confused and don't know why mum doesn't want them sitting on her lap. No to mention a friend, that gets all sorts of questions. (She's a published writer, and she knows all)
    Not a morning person, but my hubby thinks I'm strange with the types of questions he gets from me.
    I think I'm getting thee!

    1. I used to do the gum. And I don't do the alcohol either. :)Yes, I think I drive those closest to me insane some times lol.
      Thanbs for stopping by Jenny,

  8. Your post made me chuckle, Whitney. So sad but true!

    1. Glad you got a laugh out of it. Thanks for stopping by Coleen. :)