So, You Want To Be A Writer?

Just recently a friend of mine started writing. New to the life of a writer and completely oblivious to the 'symptoms' of becoming a writer, all week I've been recieving questions asking, 'Is this normal?'

So, I decided to blog about it, for you you beginners out there and for a giggle with those who understand.

And here's the list:

- Insomia:
You've spent the last six hours writing, your head is full of plotlines, characters and you're on a 'writing high'. Your eyes start to droope, the facial twitches set in, perhaps is time to go to bed?
You jump in, your electric blanket is on, you shut your eyes... And all you can think about is Conflict, Dialogue, what should I do next, Oh! that's a good idea.
You're up til 3am.
Which leads me to my next symtom...

- Caffine Addiction:
Not a big coffee drinker? Give it a few days and you'll soon be calling it your bestfriend. Coffee is 'Writer's fluid'. No coffee, no brain function.

- A Mild Case of Antisocial Personality Disorder:
Yep. You going to become an utter b*#&@.
Shoosh! I'm writing. I don't care about where the dog peed. Will you please leave me alone!
Sound familar?

- The Early Bird Gets The Worm...
Now, many writer's find that their muse is most active in the morning. What? Not a morning person? Well... you're about to join the early birds.

- I Hear Voices...
My characters are the kind that take shape in my mind. I can see them and I can hear them.
Yep, I sound like a crazy person. But guess what?

- A love for chocolate and Alcohol:
There's nothing like chocolate to ease the stink of that critique or rejection. And there's nothing like a glass of champagne or a JD to celebrate your first contract! So there you have it. Two more wonderful addictions that in excess, are bad for you.

- Paranoia
They're my friends, of course they are going to tell me this rubbish is amazing! Did it save? Did I send it properly? Why haven't they replied?
Consider yourself a cool cat? We shall see...

- Writer's Block
I know. You hate it already. You are on your first day off in two weeks, your computer is before you, you're ready to go... And it hits you. Yep, good old writer's block.

- Da Dum. Da dum. Da dum, da dum, da dum... (Yes, that was my attempt at the 'Jaws' theme)
You've submitted your first MS. You're happy, you're worried. They haven't emailed you it. It's been five minutes and they haven't emailed you  back yet. So you get onto facebook, twitter, you do a google search on the internet. What was that editor's name?
Yep, you've become not only a writer but a stalker. The editor is your celebrity and you're the paparazzi. You check you inbox 20 times every hour and you send yourself an email just to see if its broken. No not broken and still no email.
Sounds like a crazy person right? Nah, you're not cray cray. You're a writer. :)

- Crazy Hair:
Expect your hair to have a little more volume in it from now on. You'll be running you're fingers through it a little more than usual and it's going to take it's toll.

Well, there is my list. Yep, it sounds pretty awful. But think about it, all this for the abosolute joy of pointing to that good looking cover in Big W and being able to say, 'That's my book', 'I wrote that'. Sounds like a good deal to me. :)

Whitney :)